A Child and Family Workers View on ADHD in Girls

by Anonymous
(Ontario Canada)

In my work as a Child and Family Worker I see ADHD Girls all the time.
My program is designed to teach self control and problem solving techniques to children between ages six and twelve, who are experiencing behavioural difficulties.

Some of the behavioural concerns that many of the children display include defiance, aggression, conduct concerns and rule-breaking behaviours. I also work with their parents and guardians to provide support in developing effective parenting strategies in order to manage their child's behaviours at home as well as in the community.

There is a different program developed for girl and boy clients, and I have experience working in both. Most of my clients have been diagnosed with ADHD and consequently many of the parents that I work with struggle in managing their child's behaviours.
From this, I have noticed a great discrepancy in the treatment of girls with ADHD versus boys with ADHD.

The number of female clients that our program serves is significantly lower than male clients, yet once enrolled, many similar issues are reported by parents. Furthermore, parents of my female clients often minimize the severity of their daughter's behaviours once they start participating. This resistance presented by the parents makes it difficult to provide treatment to the family unit, including their daughters.

The girls with ADHD are being given the message that, "there is something wrong with the way you act, but no one is willing to invest the time to teach you the skills to make it better". As our program teaches self control skills, it can be very beneficial in teaching children with ADHD ways to manage their impulsive urges, however without the parental support, many girls do not benefit from the program.

Another difference in treatment of girl behaviour is that the longevity of female clients and their families is also lower than that of many male clients. Mostly, girls are signed up, the family does the minimal group treatment and end their involvement, despite the opportunity to remain until the girl's 18th birthday.

The message here is the same as that from above. Girl problematic behaviours appear to be something that is often ignored in terms of investment into treatment. However, simultaneously, when a girl presents behavioural concerns, they are often shamed and punished ineffectively, as many parents are shocked that a "girl does not listen" or that "a girl breaks rules".

These behaviours are common to children with ADHD and when male children experience them, it is summed up to "typical boy behaviour", whereas when a girl does it, it is "shocking and unbecoming". The end result is that many girls that I work with (for shorter amounts of time) become frustrated as they are not being heard or helped and their behaviours remain problematic.
Many of the parents of those girls also become increasingly frustrated as "nothing changed" despite what they interpreted as effort on their behalf, and they often give up. What is left is a large population of female children who have been diagnosed with a disorder; they "act out"; and they have been left to deal with these issues on their own.

I believe that we ALL need to become better at listening to children (both male and female) in order to provide them with the support that they need to develop skills and strategies to manage ADHD, rather than focus on just the behaviors that we don't like.