An ADHD Child's Story

I want to describe the typical ADHD child and give pointers on how to bring them to their best. I will start telling about me.

Then I will give some general ideas and solutions that can prevent the problems and traps that I and many of us run into.

Do you have an important ADHD child story that you want to share with everyone?

Skip below to add your own story about child ADHD

Or jump right to the bottom to see what others have had to say about ADHD kids.

I scored very high on standardized testing done to identify learning disabilities and intelligence. I also scored very low of some parts.
The scores I got didn’t match up.
So they did more testing. The doctors got involved and they realized that I was gifted in many areas and poor in some other areas. Possible indicators of an ADHD child.

At this point they started testing me for many things. I describe my experience on my ADHD diagnosis page. The doctors concluded that I was a gifted student and that I had ADHD.
I was now an ADHD child ready to be treated, that was when things got tough for me.

Underachieving
I didn't ever do well in my classes. I understood the material. My problem was I was slow to develop a the use of the written word. If asked about a subject I could recite everything I knew about it right away while talking. When asked to write I could not get the ideas in my head onto paper. My symptoms of distraction and inattention as an ADHD child were strong.

Treatment
I was given treatment as an ADHD child but not as a bright student. Gifted students are given other opportunities that other students are not. They need special academics to meet their needs. The same goes for ADHD students. They both need special treatment to succeed.

Because I was an ADHD child I was held back from the programs for the gifted students. I was treated as slow because of my behavioural problems. While the other bright kids would go to special classes and I would be left in the normal class. I was still just as bright but someone decided that it was not important to treat me that way.

I did poorly in the normal class out of boredom. I would often fall asleep during lessons because I already understood the work. As an ADHD child I was not placed in the right setting and I did poorly because I was not challenged. The doctor’s recommendation that I be given oral assignments because of my ADHD was not followed. While I may have thrived in the proper setting I was left to worsen.
And worsen I did.

Being an ADHD child in the classroom and at home
I was often threatened and/or punished by my teachers or principal. They tried to make me fit into a normal class but I was not normal. They got more and more difficult with me. Rather than finding out my strengths and weaknesses and working with them. One teacher was patient with me, trying to understand and meet my needs. Most others were not. One treated me like a delinquent and actually held me back a year.

At home I was often not allowed to participate with the family. At meals I was sent away from the table before I finished. I was not allowed to speak much while eating. I was often not allowed to watch TV with the family. I was fidgety and twitched a lot (especially when on medication). This was not tolerated and I usually got sent away.

I lived in fear of punishment at home and at school.

--sidebar--
Lets be clear about one thing. My mother did everything she knew to do to help. There were no places like this site to get information on ADHD at the time. The doctors and teachers didn't really know much about it either. They just didn't know what to do with me. Things have changed in the last 25 years.
Today there is sooo much out there to help those in need. Back then help didn't exist the way it does now.
--sidebar--

All the while my parents, teachers and doctors touted the success of my ADHD treatment. I was quiet and got good marks at school. So they called Ritalin a miracle.

I only saw the doctors when we got more medication or changed the pills. There wasn’t anyone to talk to, someone who spent time to know me and see how I was doing. As an ADHD child I was uncomfortable all the time. Being told I was a success by everyone I was not able to share how I was feeling. No one knew anything about my problems because they didn't ask.

You can't just ask a kid what they are feeling and expect a thorough thought out answer. When I say ask I mean have a knowledgeable and trustworthy person speak with me in depth. Someone who can see the whole situation and understand where the child is coming from.

When I was diagnosed as an ADHD Child we did a few swim nights at the university pool. There were a few nights where I went with my parents. I played with other ADHD kids in a gym and my parents went to therapy sessions. After a few weeks my father did not attend. After a month or two we stopped going all together.

Eventually the only ADHD treatment I received was medication.

Medication
I go into more detail about medication on ADHD Medications, Ritalin and Cylert.

The medication was uncomfortable. In the mornings I took the pills and would feel my heart race and my hands and feet would be hot then cold. I felt worried and anxious throughout the day.

I remember thinking: “If I do my work, then God will let me feel better”.

I was able to focus on a task like a laser. pushing through each assignment quickly and easily. Not to mention quietly.

I didn’t eat much during the day. The thought of food was pretty tough to swallow.

The affects began to wear off at the end of the school day. I would feel the blood rush back into my brain. Like when you arm falls asleep and your feel it coming back to life. I felt relaxed again and hungry.

This would be the first time of day that I could eat. It was all I could think about. When I got home I would search the kitchen looking for anything to eat. Only to be chased out be a parent. Yelling: "you wait till your mother gets home and makes dinner!"

I told the doctors about my hunger. They replied: “If you are hungry, then eat.”
They didn’t address the fact that I was kept from eating. Not seeming to understand that I was not allowed to do so.
I could not eat. My doctors didn’t stop for a second to address that situation.

Instead of looking at my home and school life they tried changing the dosage of my drugs. Take one in the morning and one at lunch. Try this drug, that drug.Like the medication was the only answer to my problem.

When I got old enough I stopped taking the medication. All I knew is that I felt anxious all the time. I knew that the medication made me feel bad and that I didn’t want it anymore.

With no other treatment for my ADHD I stopped the medication. My schooling and behaviour deteriorated.

Second Generation Stars
I was lucky to have an excellent teacher during this time. She was really quite good and had to find solutions that work for the class and for me.

I was 12 at the time and it was clear that I could not control my outbursts in the classroom. It was too hard for me not to speak during a lecture. Talking to other students or shouting out answers.

One day she called me on it. The teacher was doing a lesson on science and the solar system. I do not recall what I was doing but it was disruptive.

She said to me: “If you are so smart why don’t you teach the class?” So I did. I got up and went to the blackboard. She sat at her desk folded her arms behind her head and grilled me with questions. She asked about stars and how the solar system was formed. I was having fun.

She opened it up to the class to see if they had questions. The other students were weirded out and began getting out of control. I lost the ability to keep them focused on the lesson. It was really hard to say anything with them all talking and laughing.

That was the real lesson.

My teacher wanted me to see what it was like to be her. To be teaching a lesson and have the class constantly distracted and without focus. She put me in her place as an example of what I was doing all the time.

I think she was brilliant to do so.

This gave me an idea of what I was like to others. I didn’t quite get it yet and for years I struggled with that concept. I talk about when I finally got it on the signs of ADHD page.

After that she put me in a desk at the back of the classroom. There was a tall shelf dividing me from the class. This allowed me to see the board but not start discussions with other classmates during lectures.

It got me and my entire class through the rest of the year. This went on until high school.

College Not University
By this time my control was much better. I was also one of many students. There was less time for teachers to spend on me. I floated through high school. Not knowing what I was doing but not being bad enough to cause a problem.

I underachieved; didn't see the point of school. Typical teenage stuff.

The ability to excel was there but I did not really know it. Getting work done was hard. I understood the material but I found it hard to get through even a few questions. Even when locked away in my room it was hard to keep focused on the task at hand.

I mostly just didn’t bother. I attended school listened to lectures and took part in class discussion. Usually dominating any discussion I was in. I passed tests. Well most of them and slipped through school.

Doing the work was a scary thing for me. It would build up pressure and I would think. I can never get all of this done!

In short I didn’t think I could do the work. I had never excelled before so I though I couldn't. This lack of confidence made me think I could not handle university.

I chose community college instead. I wanted university but was just afraid of the work. I had never been able to get things done before. So instead of failing at university I went to community college.

This decision haunts me to this day. I still have dreams of unfinished assignments and failing a final and not being able to get out of high school. While my friends continued on. The same friends that went to the special classes when we were young were now passing me by.

The decision to go to college relieved a lot of stress though. I felt a burden lifted. College was more easily handled but I still struggled.

Working
As an employee I did not use words much. I worked as a draftsman and made drawings or blueprints for all sorts of things. I used pictures and drawings to communicate and pay the bills. I became a very fast and organized in my drawings. I was good at my job.

There was always a nagging problem. Many times small mistakes in the details would creep in. I needed proofreading to get things perfect. It always bothered me that my ADHD kept me from being perfect.

As I have become more experienced I have learned to filter out these small details much better. It took time to get things right but I have done really well with it.

Realize
Read Becoming Aware to see how I realized how as an adult my ADHD affected others. It was a landslide movement. It changed my life.

Therapy
After I was aware of my child ADHD I had to get to the bottom of it. I had a lot of anger for what had happened to me. I went into therapy to talk about my experiences and make sense of what happened. It was a difficult time but I grew so much.

Things began to make sense for me. I saw how I had dealt with my child ADHD. I know what was good and what was not good in my treatment. I wanted to keep others from making the mistakes I made. There is power in being an adult with ADHD.

So I started www.ADHDaction.com

ADHDaction
I want to share my experience to help other learn and avoid the pit falls I lived through.

That’s my story now let’s look at how you can avoid the problems I faced.

What a Typical ADHD Child is Like

Sheesh! What a nightmare. Don’t worry that will get tired, eventually.

In truth there is no typical ADHD child. There is no typical child period! I was not very hyperactive. I would sleep at odd times during the day. We all have our own unique mix of symptoms.

Getting familiar with the symptoms of ADHD, ADHD characteristics and signs of ADHD is a good idea. Then you can pick out the behaviour that looks like ADHD and work with it.

The major thing we need to do is work with and treat them. Lets get clear on why we treat and what we should expect.

Why treat? Set a Goal for your ADHD Child

The initial goals are to calm a situation. After things are under control new skills need to be built. Those skills and habits will be the key to success in the long run.

The goals of treatment:

• Calm the ADHD child down so that class can continue and so the teacher and other students are not interrupted.
• Give adults a breather. Take the edge away so that parents, teachers and caretakers can work with the ADHD child.
• Give teachers and parents the skills needed to work with their ADHD child.
• Give the ADHD child self-control and self-confidence. Help them develop the traits they will need to have success in the world.

Got anymore Goals? Add them and I will keep this list updated.

Spread It All Around

So often all of the responsibility is placed on the child and no one else. Whether or not you like it as a parent or caretaker you are a part of the behaviour. The symptoms of ADHD come out if the child is being mistreated, treated unfairly, abused and many other cases. We need to spread around the responsibility for behaviour. The parents take on the largest role.

A lot of time the child is merely reacting to the situation they are put in. If a parent or teacher is easily frustrated that will reflect onto the child. If the adult does not deal well with situations and shows anger or frustration toward the child, they are affected. Often they will act badly.

During an ADHD diagnosis the doctor will look for these “stressors” or causes in the child’s life.

Often the way that the parents deal with their ADHD child may cause the child distress. For that reason the parent needs to take a hard look at what they can do. Looking at your reactions to the child can reveal a lot. I will get to this topic on another page soon enough.

Ask the Child

When your child doesn’t do what you want them to do.
If they seem defiant or uncooperative.
Involve them in the process.
Ask them what the problem is, if they don’t have an answer don’t get mad. Try to relax and proceed. I will write more on dealing with behaviour soon.

Keep your child in the loop
Self reflect to see where you could be doing better.Get a third party expert involved. They can help understand your kid, and you. Always be making progress. Don’t just stay with one ADHD treatment and think it will be okay.

Keep moving forward.

As an ADHD child I needed someone to help me continue to improve my behaviour. Someone who was patient, understanding and encouraging of my needs. Make sure your child has that and you are halfway there!

ADHDaction is being made to give you the tools you need to treat ADHD and move forward to success.

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