Me and my ADHD
by KC
(Massachusetts, USA)
For Sixteen years I have had to learn to cope with ADHD and I am to be able to say that I conquered it!
There are symptoms of ADHD which still bug me, and I suffer from some anxiety as well. Overall I believe that the steps my mother took have helped me become the person I am today.
Medication was involved, and still is, and so was much therapy, and many tears and frustration.
I can't describe what it feels like to have ADHD. I'm sure others have it differently and over the years it just became normal to me, but the main difference of being on the pill (Celexa, but when I was 10-13 it was Adderall) is that I feel more calm and I can actually listen to a person without getting lost.
The most frustrating thing was listening to someone (friend, parent, teacher, etc) and paying complete attention before one word can throw you off and you sit there for the remaining duration of the conversation watching that other person's mouth move.
The things he/she says is translated into another different sentence in your brain. So of course when they want input, all you can do is look dumb and say "What?"
and have them reply in frustration "Nothing" and then a fight would begin.
It still happens to me, but now I am able to come out of my daze and catch a word here and there, and when I am totally lost, I know to say "yup" or "okay".
Instances like these infuriated me before. I had to learn sign language when I was 2 because I could not follow what people were saying otherwise. When I was a child of only 6 or 7, no one could give me a stern answer of what I had, only that I had SOMETHING.
When I was nine I was diagnosed with CAPD (central auditory processing disorder), and one doctor told my mother that I could be on the spectrum of autism. I cried myself to sleep for most nights and even threatened to kill myself in first grade because I could not tolerate the stress any longer. The confusion of all the tests and therapies and doctors wondering what was wrong with me. All the while my mother crying because she thought she did something wrong.
After many years, medication, therapy, and all else, I am happy to say that today I am in my junior year and currently in 2 AP classes. I am in the top tenth percent of my class and aspiring to go to Bentley and be an accountant. This is beyond any expectation anyone (except for a handful of some close friends and family) could have had of me.
When people learn of my diagnosis, they never believe it. They once did when I was a child because I always acted out and did things without thinking, some of them I regret to this day. All through grade school and middle school my mother has always been there for me and my younger sister. She has a different point of view on this disease than I do.
She was the one who had to negotiate with the school system and even battle them as they tried to keep me out of honors classes, aspirers committees, and all else. The school's excuse was that there had been smarter and more ambitious children in the schools. Most of those children now are not as ambitious as they once were and nowhere near top tenth percent.
I love to tell people (esp. those with ADHD or someone who cares for someone with ADHD) about my story. Not to boast about my achievements but to give hope to those that this disorder can be tamed and understood. My mother feels the same way and has even mentioned writing a book about all of her troubles of raising a child with my condition, but I am not sure if she will follow through though I hope she does.
That is my experience with this disorder and I hope it ignites some kind of hope in people also trying to conquer ADHD.
